Becoming the 4 McCaffery's

We've created this webpage for our family, friends, and future adoptive families to follow us in our adoption journey to Kazakhstan to become a family of 4. Thanks for reading, we hope you enjoy it!!

Monday, August 14, 2006

Good and Bad News

The good news is that Sam does not have any major illnesses like HIV/Hep B etc. The bad news is that he did test positve for TB. His chest Xray came back negative, which is good and he loves his liquid version of INH, he states it tastes like Strawberry. He's a trooper and it doesn't seem to phase him. Still, of all the things that could be going wrong with him physically, this is minor and so we're very thankful.

On the emotional/psychological end, we're going through a tough period of lying, taking with out asking and simply not listening to his mother. The hardest part about dealing with this is that he simply knows better. Now I'm no fool and I know he was obedient at the detsky dom simply as a form of survival, but it's frustrating to see the good side of him and then to watch him regress daily. Luckily he does not have "push over" parents. He told me last night, he took with out asking simply because he wanted to. I told him, that is his choice, but he knows his choice means he loses all of his privileges for the day. I know I've had 4.5 years to teach Ian respect, and the importance of telling the truth and being thankful, but it still amazes me that Sam can be incredibly greedy and lack empathy regarding his poor choices. I know it will get better as he learns this mama will not budge whenit comes to learning how to become a thoughtful and thankful person who has a strong character nor give in to his tantrums or poor character trait choices. It's just hard because then both Sam and Ian suffer as they loose time to be together due to Sam being in time out of simply having to loose the privilege of being able to play with Ian do to his constant lying, or taking without asking or simply choosing not to listen to me. At first I felt like I was screwing up some how, but I have a friend who adopted a girl from Romania, and to this day, of her 3 girls she still struggles with these issues. Oh well, I guess it doesn't help that I've been a single parent for 8 plus weeks, still I know it will get better and honestly, when I'm really tired of dealing with Sam's bullshit I look at Ian and how much he loves and cares about Sam, and it reminds me of the kind of mother/person I need and should strive to be. The photos of our the boys last day of "summer school"


Blogger Janiece said...

Ah yes--we've had the same issues with both children--Rauan is a little more trying at times. It helps that I see this with some of my friend's "home grown" children. I'm seeing improvements with Julia and Rauan is definitely better then he was a year ago. It DOES get better with time. Really--honestly!! Just keep plugging away. I certainly appreciate more of what my parents did and what they went through with us.
Just found out Rauan has a bug in his intestines--one we thought we had conquered and obviously had not. Back to the drawing board with that one!
Love and prayers,

10:43 PM  
Blogger The Molons said...

Hi Nell,
Thanks for the comment! I've been watching your blog for the latest pictures! Your boys are adorable! Things are even more crazier now in that we move to MA in 6 weeks (2 of which will be spent visiting my family in CA). Just trying to get a handle on everything! I have been in touch with the Buchanans (Buvacks?) to tell them we'll be neighbors (relatively speaking). Hope your move to CO goes well (my cousin is in Colorado Springs)...

My email is if that's easier....I kept meaning to ask Anjanette for your email address. Hope all is well! Suzie

2:33 PM  
Blogger Buchanan Family said...

Hi Everyone!
Tanya and I just finished reading your blog and enjoyed the recent pictures very much. Ian and Sam look like real brothers! Hope all is well. Would love to talk soon.
Tanya sends kisses to Sam.

3:40 PM  

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