Sunday 9 Apr

This morning we met with our lawyer, who is the father of our translator and coordinator. He was very nice and explained to us the “proper” answers to the questions that may be asked of us in court. Some caught us off guard, others seemed fairly typical; of course we’d like to answer them the way “we” feel they should be answered, but this is not our country and we need to do what we need to do to bring our second son home. Yes, we said a few posts back that we’d have a name for him. We still do not. Ian likes Owen, Tim likes Sam, and I’m not in love with either of them. We wish we would have a better grasp on his true personality prior to giving him a name, but by Wednesday afternoon, he will have one as we have been informed that will be the day we’ll need to make it official! Our visits to the orphanage are becoming a bit bland. It’s just simply getting a bit old sitting in the same room, with the same puzzles, crayons, etc. We just can’t wait to bring him back to the apartment and have him experience family life vs. being under constant supervision. I think he’s enjoying himself more, but he is always conscious of his surroundings and if he is acting properly. I have yet to hear a child cry in the orphanage and there are a few who speak a bit of English and like to practice with us as we leave and enter each day. I’m going to ask Olga, our orphanage liaison person if we can go back into Vitalik’s group and take a group photo. I still need to get some photos of the Orphanage. I enjoy my talks with Ika each day about life in Kaz vs. in the States. How life has changed for the better and for the worst in post-USSR republics. Some aspects of our lives are incredibly the same and others vastly different. To me Karaganda and the bit of Almaty that I viewed reminds me of a mixture of the Bronx in regards to the air pollution and trash and any European city except that there has been no restoration to the apartment buildings and government buildings for hundreds of years. I’m happy to report besides the initial stoic response from eye contact with people, people that we’ve actually met have been very kind and helpful. I wish many more Americans could travel abroad to less affluent places to see how truly fortunate we are in regards to the everyday simplicities we possess.

The boys did really well this visit, they played well together and separately without coaxing from anyone. I think Ian has made the realization that life with his brother will be great and that our love for him has not diminished one bit even though the amount of attention may be divided at times. I think even though Vitalik is about 2 months older than Ian, Ian will definitely be a big brother and protector--that’s just his style. We found some more food to eat. We found sunflower seeds and pistachios and Ian will eat both, which is good as I was a bit worried about his protein level. I cooked up some ground “beef” or we’re hoping it’s that, to add to our pasta sauce. It smells normal, but we’ll have to wait and see. I also bought some eggs and pre-wrapped bacon, so we can have a big breakfast/meal instead of constantly have Honey Nut Cheerios. We’ve now switched to the Moscow version of Honey Nut Cheerios and Ian loves those as well. I also found some Raman type soup and that seems to be my staple. They had some huge fish, no lie it was 2ft long, scales and all in bubble wrap at the grocery store yesterday, I so wanted to see someone carry it out of the store!! It has been really cold that last 2 days, some stereotypical “ruski” style hats have been worn about but mostly they’re random colors to accent everyone’s black/brown coats. Ian is in love with Herbie the Lovebug and can’t wait to turn on Delia’s toy that sings the love bug song. The big excitement for next week will be to go to the department/everything store a buy a few gifts for the judge and secretary and our lawyer. Perfume for the secretary and some Cognac for the men. We are hoping the weather warms up a bit so we can take the boys to some “carnival-type” fun park and perhaps just take some walks in the stroller. We’re feeling a bit cooped up. Our driver and translator will take us anywhere, but it feels a bit strange to have to depend on others to get around and we feel a bit guilty that there lives revolve around carting us to and from the orphanage especially on the week-ends when we’re certain they’d rather be with their own families.

Our second visit went well, the boys played together and alone and Ian tries even more to teach Vitalik and ask him questions about his opinions on certain subjects. One sign of living in Orphanage is his ability to tune things out. Sometimes while he’s doing a task and we say his name 2 or 3 times, he simply tunes out things to concentrate on the task at hand. We can only imagine how chaotic it must be at times and what a young child must do to find some inner peace. He did make a pretty bead necklace and was quite happy to have his picture taken in his newest creation. Of course he immediately put it in his pocket for safe keeping and would check all around prior to taking it out and playing with it a bit. We tried to show him he can trust us by having him hand the necklace to us, we look at it smile and give it back and thank him. He had fun using stamps today and loved washing his hands. We’re not certain if he likes us taking on more of a caretaker role or if he felt relieved we got off the ink prior to returning to the group so he would not suffer any disciplinary action. I took some photos of his bathroom and while I’m not impressed with the newspaper toilet paper they do try to keep them “clean” by having separate combs, toothbrushes and towels. They seem to clean things with straight bleach but in Orphanage bathrooms no one flushes their toilet paper et al; it goes into buckets and then gets thrown out when need be. While my logical mind can understand that it may be a necessity due to the wear and tear it may have on their older sewage pipes, the thought of the germ spreading contamination does get to me a bit. We found out we will meet with the child advocate/social worker on Wednesday, hopefully that will go well. We’ve been “instructed” numerous times on our “proper” answers and all should go well. We did learn today that after Vitaly (Vitalik is more of a nickname) becomes officially ours, and we must return to the States he will live with Olga until the paperwork is ready and I can come back either to Karaganda or Almaty and bring him home. This makes me feel better as I adore Olga and know in my heart she will treat him with love and respect. A neat thing happened today, Vitaly came running after us after our afternoon visit had ceased and came to give us more hugs and kisses, which was neat to see. We will be able to take some photos and videos of his group, but more than likely not until our court day party as they don’t wish to cause any extra pain and sadness to his group mates. I’m so proud Ian wants to include them in our visits as well, as he does have one of the biggest and kindest hearts of any child or adult I know. I know it would be hard for me as well, hanging out with all the children on a regular basis. I want to give them as much affection as I can, perhaps decreasing the pace that the majority of their hearts will harden due to their living situation and overall existence by not having a family or any true close bonds. My lighter comments for today’s post is that our water in the apartment has two-- settings Icelandic and Volcanic and I can only wash my hair every 2 days as the water makes it feel like either straw and I can’t get through it with a comb, brush or weed-whacker. Natural curly hair and Kazakhstan water do not make such a good combo!!