Tuesday May 9th

We woke up this morning planning on attending the “big parade”, celebrating the end of WWII, but it never happened. We were told it would go down the street where TSUM is located. I met up with Anjanette, Ronnie, and their daughter, Reagan at Café Ankara around 1000 and we decided to walk around inside the TSUM to waste some time before the parade started as it was a bit chilly. The Blewers bought a new digital camera and we found a play area where children are dropped off while their parents shop. We of course did not leave our children. Sam had a great time sliding into a pool of balls, shooting a basketball into a hoop, swinging on a ladybug swing, and playing in a playhouse. He seemed very please to have different toys with which to play.

We then ran into some more Americans who happened to be Missionaries who have lived here for 10 yrs and are sad about returning to the States in June. 10 years! I was ready to go home after 10 days!! Still, they were very nice and it turns out when Anjanette was here adopting Reagan, she went to their mission’s main house for Thanksgiving. What a small world! We gave up on the parade by 1215 and walked to Mario’s Pizza for lunch and it was as yummy as ever. We then parted ways and Sam decided he needed to go potty about 6 blocks from home. We made it home safe and sound, because finding a public bathroom it is very difficult to do and when you do, you need to pay for them and they don’t often come with toilet paper!! After making our daily trip to the grocery store the hours slowly passed by reading books, coloring and watching some BBC World. As I was reading Sam is book before night-night, I happened to peek at my watch and noticed in Dover, it would be 1000 and Ian would be at preschool. I thought about how much I miss taking him to school, walking hand-in-hand to class talking about what he hoped the day would bring. By 1000 they usually are saying the Pledge of Allegiance. I remember last September when he came home one day after school and said the whole thing. I was so proud of my patriotic 3.5 yr old.

While I’m so happy Sam is thriving, I miss being Ian’s mother. I miss everything about him and our lives together as mother and son. Straight up, I just don’t want to be here anymore. Even though I know it was the best thing to do for Sam, I know it was not the best thing to do for Ian, and having to make that decision will haunt me for a very long time.

That being said, I wanted to leave today’s blog on a positive note. I love the bread and mandarin oranges in Karaganda. Also, the wrought iron work on the windows and buildings is quite ornate and beautiful.

Photos of the day are of the post office with a banner celebrating the Victory Day in 1945 and Sam at the TSUM slide. For those of you coming to Karaganda reading this. The play area in the TSUM is located in on the 2nd floor near the rest rooms, in the SW corner of the building.